It should be fun. Plus, when her legs are over your shoulders, you control everything that is going on, and I am a big fan of dominance. She passed out when we were done, and I joined the party that was still going. Six midgets at a table had me nearly catatonic, you can only imagine what midgets popping and locking did. Get over it and focus on something important, like not being such fat asses. Welcome to women, enjoy your stay. Her pussy was not that tight, in fact, it basically felt normal.
So he can smoke some rock? But one of my friends trumped me. One of my favorite positions is me on top with the girls legs over my shoulders. But then again, you never know, maybe he used his massive forehead to magic the money out of my wallet and into his tiny little crack pipe. It was long and ambitious, but I had confidence in my ability to conquer it the full story of the Sexual To Do List will be in my next book, Assholes Finish First. The last meaningful box to check off my list. Being pimped by a girl to another girl is pretty much the optimal situation for a guy, so I did the best thing I could do: Do they get pissed if you set your drink on top of their head? I am honestly not sure how the next part unfolded, but I do know for damn sure I had nothing to do with it. Another 20 seconds to sprint out the door and onto Park Avenue. What if a midget punches me in the nuts? They are camera phone pics and they suck. Are you allowed to physically pick them up? I think the midgets took a liking to Soylent because he is barely taller than they are and he looks exactly like Gimli the Dwarf from the Lord of the Rings movies. She decided to get back up on the stool by herself. How many other people can say they have done that? You might first think you stumbled into a geriatric convention, but you study the people on the Rascals, and realize something: They have regular sized muscles and tiny little arm bones, so they just look ripped. Her missing neck and bowlegs gave me an idea what Gwyneth would look like if placed in a vise and squished to one-quarter size. I was in a cab to La Guardia within two minutes of getting the call. Her blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes made me think of Gwyneth Paltrow. Within minutes we were sitting with the little people. We kept drinking and hanging out, and like an hour later DolphinMidget comes up to me and Soylent. I was at the gym when I got this text message from my buddy DrunkasaurusRex. I hate you 5:
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