But this kind of banter keeps things healthy. But 50 is a big number. I have started doing it, too, and it really works. In those days you dated people you knew or because someone had suggested them. But it was also his mind; what he said and the way he said it. It always amazes me how easily two people who live together can get the wrong end of the stick, particularly if they love each other. He was ten years younger than me and full of the joy of youth, which was wonderful after all the sadness of divorce, and a great confidence boost.
I was clearly ahead of the curve, as the YOU Sex Survey finds that 72 per cent of women would, at the least, consider going out with a much younger man. Now we have an afternoon during the week, when my husband is working at home, that is wonderfully uninterrupted. I had a cyst on my kidney and the doctors were concerned it was something more sinister. But it meant we talked: Derek is a keen groomer. Quite simply, sex in your 40s and 50s can be the best of your life. It always amazes me how easily two people who live together can get the wrong end of the stick, particularly if they love each other. A friend puts body moisturiser on every day because it makes her feel desirable. And we do try to go away on our own two or three times a year — sometimes to a hotel just outside London, other times to somewhere a bit more adventurous. Getting in the mood might be a struggle with all the business of life, work and childcare on your mind, but taking some time to make yourself feel good is such a boost. Gone are those early in the relationship child-free moments of spontaneity. Share this article Share Women over 45 are far more interested in sex — and are more adventurous in bed — than our culture would have us believe. I also like making him a little bit jealous every now and again; reminding him that I am alive and someone might fancy me — especially as he knows I would never act on it. If this is midlife sex, bring it on! But it was also his mind; what he said and the way he said it. So I used that milestone to take stock of my life and think about how I wanted the next few decades to be. I have started doing it, too, and it really works. Couples need to make an effort for each other, too. Scheduling a daily slot to jump on each other sounds unromantic. I do think the mind is the sexiest organ of the body. In midlife, with all its pressures, spontaneity can be hard to come by and sex gets squeezed out, so the commitment to daily romance pushes sex back into the centre of your life. In the early part of our relationship, sex was actually out of the equation for a time: I was always attracted to Derek physically — he has wonderful eyes and I love that he is so big. It forced us to make time to be intimate, which I think is key to a happy marriage. But forget collecting notches on a bedpost; the survey confirms that most women have had fewer than ten sexual partners. But this kind of banter keeps things healthy. That intimacy changed our sex life for the better; we felt so close that we could move forward in a relaxed way.
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